For months, we’ve noticed something different about E. Most day, she’s still our loving, happy-go-lucky, inquisitive, funny 4-year-old. Then there are the other days. She’s moody, sulky, slams doors in our faces and even ROLLS HER EYES at me (paging Christian Grey).
There’s only way to describe her behavior — she’s acting like a tween.
In the grand tradition of Brangelina, Bennifer and TomKat, we realized there was truly only one way to describe this new joining of personalities. She’s a Twoddler.
She’s even nailed what she likes to call “the pose.”
Sadly, I have entirely too many pictures like this from the past few months. I heard through the grapevine that this is something all the girls started doing at preschool.
And so it begins.
This week, though, DadJovi was the one who had the suffer the full force of the Twoddler. And I think she was doing it to punish me, which clearly makes perfect sense.
On Wednesday night, I met up with these lovely ladies at our monthly Central Florida Lady Bloggers meetup.
Thanks for the picture, Kiran! To see a full list of these social media rock stars, including their blog and Twitter links, click here. And if you’re in Central Florida, like our Facebook page and come join us for another event!
Anyway, that meant DadJovi put E. to bed that night (but of course, she waited up for me and threw open her bedroom door to yell for me as soon as she heard my key in the front door at 9:30) and then on Thursday morning, I had to leave the house before she woke up because I’m super important and was a featured media member (for my day job) at the Central Florida Media Roundtable. Remember how last year I sat alone at a table by myself, waiting for PR professionals to swarm, only to sit there all by lonesome? Yeah, that totally didn’t happen again at all (seriously, when is someone going to invent a sarcasm font?).
As I was pretending that I don’t mind being stood up by PR people, DadJovi was having a standoff of his own.
Shortly after I left, he went into E’s room to wake her up (again, like a tween, she is impossible to wake up on a school morning. It takes a lot of cajoling and prodding). He laid down beside her in bed, trying to do the nice approach of waking her up sweetly. After a couple minutes, she popped up and said “Where’s Mommy?”
And before he could answer, she jumped out of bed and ran from her room to ours … and locked herself in.
At first, he said it was funny. He kept knocking on the door and she kept shouting “I WANT TO BE ALONE.” Finally, he went hunting for the keys to unlock our door but couldn’t find them (you know, it’s hard to remember to check the key hook). Eventually, she unlocked the door, walked right to a small chair, picked it up and stormed into her room, using the chair to prop the door closed because she doesn’t have a lock on her door.
Who is this child? I thought we had years before the slamming doors and locking one’s self in bedrooms began. Guess I was wrong.
At this point, he put a cartoon on in the living room TV to try and lure her out and he went and got into the shower. When he came out, he says she was mysteriously in a better mood and ready to get dressed for school. He wasn’t going to push his luck with breakfast, so he suggested they go to Starbucks on the way to school for breakfast.
I”ll let E. pick up the story here.
Translation: when they arrived at Starbucks, DadJovi ordered his coffee and E. started drinking a chocolate milk (tsk, tsk). But as they were trying to pay, the registers stopped working and they couldn’t get them restarted. He tried just giving them cash for food but they wouldn’t sell any food until the registers were back up and running but gave them the beverages for free.
Well, at least he had that one brief shining moment of glory.
They left Starbucks to find another place for breakfast. They started walking down the street toward a French bakery (the one where he bought our Breakfast at Wimbledon treats), and as they were trying to cross the street in a crosswalk, a car started turning right into them and nearly hit them both. It made DadJovi spill coffee all over his work clothes and it turned out it was a mom dropping her kid off at a preschool. Nice job, mom.
They finally made it (alive) to the French bakery, and E. only wanted one thing, an eclair (the “chocolate with chocolate inside” treat she described in the video). DadJovi told her no, that’s too much sugar for breakfast. He told me it was pretty much the world’s largest eclair. He said she could have a croissant or a strawberry tart.
Clearly that wasn’t going to fly. The toddler reared its ugly tantruming head. What E. so sweetly described as “whining” in the video, DadJovi describes as a full-fledged meltdown. So he took her outside and she pitched a good old-fashioned crying fit on the sidewalk, which, of course, at least a couple people we already know about (including one of her teachers) witnessed as they drove by.
After he said she could just go to school without eating, she calmed down and she reluctantly agreed to get a croissant. Poor, deprived baby having to settle for a croissant for breakfast. </sarcasmfont>
Eventually, they made up and he was able to drop her off at school — a full 35 minutes later than we normally drop her off.
I really wish I could share her full re-telling of this story but sadly, she couldn’t stop pulling her skirt up and flashing her underwear during the taping of it.
And so it continues.
Only 14 more years to go.
Give it to me straight — what’s one of the worst tween/teen stunts you remember pulling on your parents? I need to start preparing myself for the worst-case scenarios. And please tell me I’m not the only one raising a Twoddler.