Too Little Too Soon?

by MomJovi on March 18, 2014

Since she was about 2, E and I have had some pretty epic clothing battles. From a very young age, she’s had very strong and distinct opinions on what she should be wearing.

E's fashion tips

I’m a firm believer in picking your battles, and most times, clothing just didn’t rise to the top of that list. Of course, there were times when I had to drop the hammer and tell her no, particularly when she opted for shorts and tanks during our Florida “winters” and heavy sweaters during the summer. But sometimes, I lost those battles, too.

IMG_20130524_103845
When this picture was taken it was about 98 degrees (holla!), with 100 percent humidity, and she was wearing a heavy turtleneck dress. Because, of course.

The day she started wearing uniforms to school, I started crying happy tears. Our mornings got about 1,000 percent easier.

There’s one rule, though, that we’ve never caved on — no bikini bathing suits.

It honestly was something I’d never even considered when we first had our precious daughter until someone gifted us with a teeny tiny two-piece. As soon as I opened it, it felt a bit icky but I wondered if it was just me. Nope, as soon as my husband got home, he immediately said, “Nope. No way. It’s getting returned or given away. She’s NOT wearing that.”

I can’t even remember who bought it for us, but it was very innocent. I think it may have even had a Disney character on it. It just felt wrong, though.

It’s never been an issue. E’s had her picks of Disney suits, two-piece sunshade shirt options and some adorable one-pieces.
IMAG2888

For the record, I wish I had that pink ballerina suit.

This year, though, it’s all changed. A couple weeks ago, I came home with a new one-piece Speedo … in DUKE BLUE … for her, and her first reaction was, “Well, Mommy, I kind of like it, but this year, I want a two-piece instead.”

I kept the one-piece but told her I’d start looking around. And this is what’s out there.

Baby Bikinis

The first two are from Justice (no surprise there) and the third one is from Old Navy. And yes, all three come in my daughter’s size, 6.

I finally found a tankini-style suit that I thought she’d like and again, I got a lukewarm reaction.

“No, Mommy, I didn’t want one that covers my belly. I want one that just covers these (pointing to her chest).”

Sigh. Big heavy sigh. Where is she picking this up?

Am I just a prude? Seriously, I want to know. Because there is no way my daughter is wearing a suit like the ones above for some time. I’m no Jessica Simpson.

I want her to love her body and have no fear or shame associated with it. She’s never heard me describe myself or anyone else (well, other than the cat) as fat. I’ve worn two pieces, including a mix of bikinis and tankinis, around her, and I no qualms with her being around older girls and women in them. Hell, half the time, one member of our family is walking around practically naked. We discuss bodies, we discuss being proud of our strong and healthy bodies and we discuss doing things, like eating well and exercising, to make ourselves healthier and stronger.

But bikinis for little girls? That’s just something that doesn’t feel right for us.

From a practical standpoint, that’s just that much more sunscreen I have to wrestle onto her body. And as an avid sand-castle builder, it’s also that much more of her body that’s exposed to the sand as she digs massive holes and gets buried.

But it’s more than that, obviously. I know she doesn’t know the concept of “sexy” yet but I can’t help but think these is her first time wanting to look a certain way. A certain older way. And it scares the shit out of me.

I explained to her, as she kept rolling her tankini top higher and higher on her body, that we can revisit the topic in a couple years, but for the time being, this is the kind of suit that is appropriate for an adventurous 6-year-old like herself.

And yes, I even had to drop the “I’m not Ashley’s mom, I’m your mom” retort when she whined that her friend had a small two-piece. Her teenage years are going to be fun.

I think I’ve mostly appeased her for now. I’m already dreading the summer where we’ll be sure to hang out with her friends in their inevitable two-pieces. Mostly, I’m dreading her making it a situation, forcing me to confront my rule in front of her friends and more importantly, their mothers, my friends.

This, like every other issue having to do with parenting, is totally a judgment and personal call for families to make. I hesitated to even write this because I don’t want to come off as judging other moms. Hell, I’m ALWAYS the first person to share the “moms need to stop judging other moms” posts. And I know you could list 18 things right now that I do as a parent that you would NEVER, ever do.

I guess this is just another example lately of how hard parenting seems to be getting the older E. gets. Every issue just seems to feel as if it has the potential to become a big, ’80s sitcom-style teaching moment. I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this point with E. by making it an issue, but it’s just one of those things I know I need to trust my gut on. Even if it makes my kid temporarily hate my guts.

What’s one parenting decision you’ve struggled to stick to your guns on? Is there a baby/toddler/kid trend that drives you crazy, too?

{ 20 comments }

Jump Into Spring Break at Airheads {Giveaway}

March 12, 2014

This coming summer will be the first time we have to coordinate a summer full of camps. It’s been as obnoxious, frustrating and expensive as it sounds to get it all arranged. I’ve been so stressed trying to schedule a nine weeks of activities that I completely overlooked the immediate future: Spring Break. E’s school […]

Read the full article →

My First Half Marathon: runDisney’s Princess Half

February 26, 2014

Well, gang, I did it. I ran my first half marathon and shocker of all shockers, I liked it. I really liked it. But let me back up a bit. As you can see, I decided to channel my inner Princess Leia for the race. Hey, if I’m going to run in a race called […]

Read the full article →

Birthday Staycation at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge

January 30, 2014

As you know, we go to Disney a lot. A lot. Over the past six years, we’ve had season passes to the parks and the water parks, we’ve been on a Disney Cruise and we’ve even reached first-name status with the Princesses. But there was one thing we’d never done — stayed at a Disney […]

Read the full article →

Disney Marathon Weekend 2014

January 19, 2014

Hello? Is this thing on? I swore, I was going to get back on the blogging bandwagon this month, but then, as usual, life got in the way. That’s what happens when the whole Jovi family suddenly turns into runners.  Last year, at the age of 4, E. amazed us when she ran a 11ish […]

Read the full article →

Disney Princess Half Marathon Training: Week 10

January 5, 2014

Now, you didn’t think I’d actually keep up with weekly monthly updates on my Disney Princess Half Marathon training, did you? The good news is that I have actually been keeping up with the training itself. Considering that the training has fallen during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and my husband’s final weeks of training for […]

Read the full article →

A 2013 Recap? Sure, Why Not.

December 31, 2013

Helloooooo out there! I’m that lady who used to blog. I do miss it terribly; I’ve just been terrible about finding time to fit it into my daily life lately. In the spirit of resolutions, I’ll try to work on that in 2014. I wasn’t going to do a 2013 recap, but as I started […]

Read the full article →