It’s official. Motherhood has caused my brain to become atrophied.
I’m sure I’ve said it before, but perhaps the number one reason I blog is because I can’t remember anything for shit anymore. It’s a little ironic because among my friends, my memory is legendary. I seem to be able to recall cheerleading routines from 7th grade, random quotes from fringe characters in college, and the song lyrics of every hip hop song released in the ’90s.
But as for day-to-day things these days? Well … wait, what was I saying again?
This week has proven that my mind has launched an outright rebellion against me.
It all started on Tuesday when I tweeted this.
Sure enough, they were late. At 8:35 a.m. I called Bright House to see if they could give me an update. And I was informed that they would be there … in 24 hours. I had the wrong day.
It was at about that time that DadJovi pulled out one of our favorite quotes from one of our favorite movies.
Please tell me you’ve seen “Best in Show.” If not, just lie to me and say that you have. Because it’s pretty much the funniest movie of all time, especially if you’ve ever owned a dog.
In a scene that sometimes seems to cut a little too close to our own life, Gerry and Cookie Fleck, pictured above with their showdog Winky, are trying to check in to the hotel in Philadelphia for the dog show when their credit card is declined. They insist that there must be some mistake because “that’s the good card.” So they give the credit card company a call, and Gerry says: “My wife does all the bill-paying. She’s not a forgetful person.”
Yup, that sounds about right. Remind me to tell you some time how awesome I am at paying bills on time. It’s DadJovi’s macadamia nut, to quote another line from the movie.
I moved on with my day after the whole Wrong Appointment Day Incident.
After work, I picked E. up from school, dodged rain showers to run to the grocery store since we had nothing to eat, came home, unloaded the groceries, made dinner and sat down to eat with the family.
I was just starting to relax when my cell phone rang at 6:40. “Who the heck is this calling me? I don’t know this number. Why is someone from California calli… oh shit.”
Yup, totally forgot that I was supposed to have a phone call with someone at 6 p.m. about a very cool blogging opportunity (more on that later. Sorry for the vague reference. Believe me, I hate when other bloggers do that but I don’t know enough yet about the project to share details. Soon though!).
After I spent the first two minutes falling on my sword and apologizing profusely for missing our appointment time and trying to convince them that yes, I am a trustworthy and responsible person, we had a great conversation.
And the whole time I could just hear DadJovi laughing in the background and saying to himself, “My wife is not a forgetful person.”
I think this is all evidence that I need to give my brain a break.
And what better way to do that than to go see these girls?
It’s another wedding weekend!! This time, it’s our friend all the way on the right in this photo and she’s getting married on Martha’s Vineyard! CAN’T.FREAKING.WAIT!
DadJovi is staying home with E. It was just too hard to coordinate a weekend that far away for just the two of us. Instead, I’m taking myself on the most romantic trip I’ve ever taken alone. All of my other friends will have their husbands there but I know I can twist their arms to get a little crazy with me. It’s been way too long since we’ve all been together. All of us, minus one, got together last fall (and the minus one was because she was in a car accident on her way to girls weekend. Such a freaking bummer!). But we haven’t all been together at the same time since that photo above was taken in 2009. THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!
And, as a BIG added bonus, I’m flying up a day early so that I get to meet this gorgeous 8-week-old girl.
If her Mommy lets me, I just might eat her cheeks. Yup, my uterus pre-emptively aches.
So, I’ll see you on the other side. I figure it will be an interesting experiment to see if three days of full night’s sleep, not packing snacks and extra outfits for another person and actually going to the bathroom alone for the first time in years will help some brain cells regrow. I wonder if DadJovi’s brain will start to waste away from Single Parent Syndrome?
I’ll miss them like crazy and the fact that E. keeps telling me every two minutes how much she’s going to miss me isn’t helping my feelings of Mom Guilt. But perhaps if this trip will help me remember things like, oh, sending E’s playground water cup to school which I’ve forgotten to do every day for more than a week, then the trip will be a win-win-win in our house.
And if not, at least I may be able to make a few new memories that my brain actually holds onto.
Have you ever gone to a wedding alone? I’m not going to be a complete third (or actually 15th) wheel, right? Any suggestions for must-dos in either Edgartown or Oaks Bluff on Martha’s Vineyard? And please tell me I’m not the only person who is losing her mind.