Later this month, I’m going to Martha’s Vineyard to watch one of my best friends from college get married. I’m really bummed DadJovi can’t come — it was too far and expensive for a weekend away for two since we don’t have any family close by who could take E. for the whole weekend. It just was easier for me to go alone. Although, there is one silver lining — I am SO looking forward to sleeping alone in a bed (and getting to sleep ALL.NIGHT.LONG) for the first time in forever. I’m fantasizing about the sleep already.
Despite my excitement for the trip, there’s one thing that’s been stressing me out — my clothes. A big part of it has to do with how unhappy I am with the state of my body lately. Stupid old-person metabolism.
I just feel like nothing fits right anymore. I actually already have a nice, somewhat flattering formal dress to wear to the wedding, so I’m good there (well, other than needing a new extra-Spanxy pair of Spanx. Maybe I should go Adele and wear three pairs?). I do still need to pick up a new pair of shoes, but thankfully, I haven’t developed fat feet yet so those are still fun to shop for.
But I’m currently in a frenzy trying to figure out what I want to wear on Friday night. I know everyone is going out on the Vineyard and I believe there may be some sort of official gathering somewhere.
So what to wear? How do I find the right outfit that says, “Hey, I’m not a redneck from Florida” without looking like I tried too hard? Effortless chic is the look I’m going for. Oh yeah, and something that doesn’t make me look 21 weeks pregnant.
Who knew that something effortless could be such a big flipping effort?
For Christmas, my mom got me a $100 gift card to Gap that I’ve been hoarding over the past several months (thanks again, Mom!). I thought, “Surely I can easily find an outfit there and maybe even have money to spare for some fun accessories.”
Surely I was wrong.
What the hell happened to Gap? Have basic, staple items always been so expensive there or have I just spent too much time clothes shopping at Target and Costco over the past 4 years? After trying on a gazillion things, I finally settled on a pair of white khakis (the jeans were ridiculously tight. Skinny jeans can go away any day now. Annnny day) and a loose-fitting, non-maternity looking linen tank top.
OK, fine, that wasn’t so hard. This could work.
And then I looked at the price tag. That cami. That simple summer shirt is selling for $49,95. You’ve GOT to be kidding me. Like for real? There are certainly clothing items I will spend that much (and much more) on, but a stupid tank top? No way in hell.
In desperation, I left with the white khakis, even though they were also $50. I still may return them, but frankly, they’d also be a great pair of pants to have for work and other events this summer.
So, I’ve got the pants. Finding a shirt can’t be that hard, right?
I know I should have just sucked it up and headed to the mall or the outlets. But I despise both places. I figured that I could find one simple, semi-flattering shirt in Colonial Plaza, which houses an Old Navy (where my gift certificate would also work), a Marshall’s and a Ross.
When I tell you that I tried on at least 48 articles of clothing at those three places combined, I wish I was exaggerating. But I’m not. Things were too small. Too big (rarely on bottom, frequently on top. Damn small chest). Too short. Too frumpy. Too cheap. Too casual. Too dressy. Too “looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.” (name that movie).
Listen, I’m not a size 6. I accept that. But I’m also not a size 16. It really shouldn’t be THIS hard to find one simple outfit for a reasonable amount of money.
Four hours later, I’d spent $80 at Marshall’s and come home with two options.
Here’s option 1.
I really should try them on for you, but I’m not emotionally ready to go down that path again.
It’s a cute red dress with little birds all over it. It didn’t come with a belt, so I bought the hot pink one, too. That works, right? I really should have begged the fabulous J to come with me.
Here’s a close-up.
Those colors work together, right? What would work better?
The dress itself fits pretty good. There is one issue — I can’t sit in it. Well I can, but it gets really tight around my thighs when I sit down and sort of rides up. Seriously, why must every dress be so short? But who needs to sit anyway? It’s highly overrated.
Here’s Option 2:
Those are the aforementioned khakis and a shirt I picked up at Marshall’s. Again, it’s not too tight around the belly but also not too loose. The best part is the cutouts with criss-crossed straps on the back.
But is it just too casual? I think I’d feel much more comfortable, bodywise, in this outfit. And I think with nice sandals and jewelry, I could dress it up some. Plus, I am afraid that my thin Florida blood is going to leave me freezing all weekend long anyway, especially at night.
UGH.
I am not someone who cares this much about fashion, obviously. I just can’t believe how frustrating this shopping experience has been. I know the biggest reason is how unhappy I am with my body right now. But I also think I’ve reached a very startling realization — it’s time for me to age up in terms of the stores I shop in. Hell, this morning I saw a commercial for Chicos — yes, CHICOS — and thought, “Hmmm, those white jeans looks like they could work.”
Shoot me now.
And don’t even suggest shopping online. It’s never worked for me. Never.
After such a frustrating day, this is pretty much how I was feeling.
If I can’t change my body by the end of the month, I can change one thing … my hair!
This was my first time ever doing a box at home. Clearly, I had no idea what I was doing. After I put all the dye in my hair, I looked nothing like the girl on the box. How do you get all that hair to stay on top your head? It kept falling down, staining my shirt and one time swinging into my eyes, which felt awesome.
And when I was done? You could barely tell I’d done a thing.
As usual, Paula was right — you should ALWAYS go much lighter than you think you want so that it actually shows. Otherwise you get this reaction.
When I was dying my hair, E. was fascinated because she’d never seen it before but it was bedtime. I told her when she woke up today, my hair would be lighter like hers.
This morning, she comes into the bathroom and examines my hair.
Me: Well, E., what do you think? Does it look lighter?
Her: Kinda.
And it was a really drawn out, slightly judgy “kinda.” Well, OK then.
I think I spent a bit too much time focusing on the roots. They have a slightly orangey glow to them.
Oh well. It’s just hair.
I know this was a really whiny, angsty post. But I’ve been trying really hard to not say anything of these things at home. The last thing I want is for E. to think I hate my body. I don’t hate it. I just know I need to make changes.
And I wish I had a personal shopper.
But that’s where you come in: a) Of the two outfits above, which do you like best? b) Where do you shop? Clearly I need to find some new stores. and c) Why didn’t any of you tell me that the conditioner in boxes of hair dye makes your hair so freaking soft? I’ve been petting my head all day like it’s a soft kitten. I fear I may become a hair dye addict.
You are adorable. I love that I read your posts and I can hear you narrating in your voice. I love both options, but ultimately I think you should feel comfy and fabulous in whatever you pick! That’s what matters most. 🙂
You’re the best. When I was whining to Katy today, she chided me that I should have called you. It just seems so easy — I mean, who can’t find an outfit for one night out? Apparently me, that’s who.
But I appreciate your vote of confidence! And I think you’re right — whatever makes me feel more comfortable will make me feel more confident and allow me to do what I’m really there to do — enjoy myself!
And I love that you think my posts sound like me. Oh wait, this was the whiniest post that someone ever hit publish on. Crap. That means I must sound whiny all the time! 🙂
Or maybe, I’m just more like Carrie Bradshaw that I thought and reading my posts is like watching Carrie write her column! Then again, probably not!
Thanks for jumping in so quickly and making me feel better. I need to get outside of my own head. I’m really overthinking this.
I love both outfits! Honestly I would probably go with the second one since you’re more comfortable in it and not being able to sit doesn’t sound like a good idea 🙂
And I haven’t been able to wear my pre pregnant clothes quite yet, but I’m expecting a lot of tears and frustrations when I actually can start trying to go through my closet for real clothes and not just my husbands t shirts and yoga pants.
I think the comfort argument is starting to win out. And yeah, being able to sit is probably a good idea!
You’re doing so awesome though, post-baby. Haven’t you already run/are signed up for a race already? You’re already four years ahead of me! 🙂
One of my biggest post-pregnancy problems is how my weight got redistributed to different places. Weight-wise, I’m not too far from my pre-pregnancy weight (which was more than I would have liked it to be) but now it’s ALL settled in one place — my gut. I know a lot of it is C-section related. There’s just something about abdominal surgeries that makes your stomach pooch out. That’s why I’ll never understand elective C-sections.
Thanks!
I like both outfits, but if the dress is uncomfortable when you sit, you’ll be noticing that all night. So I vote for the second one.
I actually find that The Gap, while overpriced, fits me quite well. So I do a lot of shopping from the sale section of their website! And Target. I keep telling myself to stop buying the cheap crap at Target, but whenever I go in there, I seem to come out with something.
Oh, I am there with you on Target. I just can’t seem to quit it either! It’s impossible to go for the staples and not leave without a shirt of some kind. I purposely avoided it this weekend when shopping but I have a sneaking suspicion I still may make a trip there, you know, just in case.
It’s nice Gap fits you well. After this trip, I’m off it for awhile. Nothing fit right on me. I just really need low-rise, skinny pants to die forever.
Ditto on what’s up with clothing prices lately? I feel like the fabric used is getting thinner and cheaper, but prices keep going up. I really love both outfits you got, and I think either is perfect for Martha’s Vineyard. Definitely wear whichever you feel the most comfortable in! If you’re handy, you could hem the dress into a long top and still wear the belt. I’m not handy, but I feel like that’s what handy people do.
You’re absolutely right. I have no problems (well, some problems) paying more for clothes that I think are good quality and will last a couple seasons. But I just seem to keep finding not only cheaply made clothes, but ultra trendy items that you know have a very short shelf life.
Um, and what you describe doing to the dress sounds like the hardest thing ever! So, no, I’m not handy, especially when it comes to sewing. Putting a popped button back onto E’s dresses is challenging enough for me!
Thanks for the comment! I think comfort is the key here, so I’ll probably end up in the pants. But I’m sure I’ll bring both and make a game-time decision! The hard part will be shoving it all into my carryon!
Ditto to J’s comment, the best accessory is confidence: Feel comfortable in what you’re wearing & you can make a sack of potatoes look good! For what it’s worth I think the outfit selections you posted are adorable 🙂
You’re so sweet. Hey, I should have considered a sack of potatoes. It’d be roomy and I could just say the lumps were the potatoes, not my love handles. I think you’re onto to something here!
Thank you, friend!
TOTALLY feel your pain, Jackie. First of all, you’re adorable and you’ll look great in anything you choose. For me, comfort is super important, but equally important is feeling confident in what I’m wearing … it can definitely dictate my mood one way or the other.
Clothing prices are pretty absurd, for sure, but have you checked out Loft lately? I’ve had some pretty good luck there with sale stuff that doesn’t look like I shopped at Forever 21, but doesn’t look like Chico’s either.
P.S. — Don’t even get me started on the hair thing. After spending $200 on color/cut and hating it, I wish I’d gone the box route.
It’s so funny that you mention Loft. I kind of did a head slap last night as I was writing this and thought, “Why didn’t I try there.” I may swing by this weekend since I’m a sucker for punishment and can’t stop thinking about this.
But you’re very sweet. Thank you! And the hair thing is another one that kills me. Not only is it expensive and time-consuming, but it never lasts. Why do we do this to ourselves? I was a hair coloring virgin until about six months ago and now I can’t seem to stop playing with it. That’s why I’m not worried about the color not looking great right now — it’ll all be gone within a week anyway!
Guys have it so easy.
I think you should definitely go for outfit #2. As someone mentioned above, if you’ve already found something uncomfortable about that dress (as cute as it is!), then that’s all you’ll be focusing on all night long. Trust me, I’ve been there, and it sucks. Constantly shifting, rearranging, tugging, yuck. So – khakis and red/white shirt it is. I love the cut-outs on the back of that shirt, too. Get some cute sandals or maybe comfy red kitten heels, and you’ll be golden. Also some pretty pearls would dress it up or something a little chunkier/funkier in the jewelry department if pearls aren’t your style. And I’m totally with you on Gap’s prices lately. What gives?? They used to be my favorite out of that family of stores, but now they’re getting up there with BR. Fortunately I’ve had a lot of luck lately with Old Navy (mainly maternity clothes now though, but last year some good regular stuff) – it’s like they’re kind of trying to make up for Gap going apeshit with their pricing. ON’s quality seems to be better than it used to be as well.
I think you look adorable in the “after” hair shot too! You can tell it’s lighter. I’m such a wimp – there’s no way I trust coloring my own hair. I’ve done it once or twice before to cover the grays, and I hate it – it smells bad, I never know if I’m putting it on right, and I always get it on something it should never have touched. 😉
I hear what you are saying about online shopping, BUT…
my favorite store is Ann Taylor Loft. Pricey, but everything is always so nice. Trendy, but not too young for this 43 year old. Ann Taylor proper is too old and stuffy for me. Loft is perfect. I know what size in that store fits me, so I am obsessed with their sales and clearances. I buy so much stuff online from Loft that I probably need an intervention. Could you shop some of the pricier stores and find one that has clothes that fit your bodytype, but then stalk their sales online?
I like the bird dress, even though everybody says go for comfort. I’d say go for comfortable shoes and just stand up all night 🙂 xoxo
p.s. I am a 14/16, so it’s not like everything fits me. But since I used to be a 22/24, I still think shopping is AWESOME. It’s all relative, my dear.
Um, so I went to Loft on Thursday night and O EM GEE! Why have I not been going there for the past couple years. I fell in love with so much stuff there and holy sales! I got the cutest cardigan for $12, a purse that will match either outfit for $8 and all the sandals were buy one, get one free, so I got shoes that will match either outfit. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THE IDEA IN MY HEAD!
I will definitely be going back to Loft. I wanted to return everything I’d already bought and start fresh there but I can’t deal with the idea of all those returns. I really need a personal shopper!
And thank you, as always friend, for the much needed perspective. Yup, it is all relative.
OMG, I love love the red dress! But you cannot wear a pink belt with it. People are going to think you think that belt is red and they will point at you from across the room and talk about you over dinner. “That poor girl. So pretty. And she thinks pink is red. So sad.”
You don’t want that to happen, do you? Only you stop the pointing. And forest fires. How about a yellow belt? Or black. Or even brown might work.
Ohh, this is a tough one for me. I love the red dress, esp the birds (I am the bird nerd that has previously commented under the name “Chris” but i just started a blog so am using that name now…more info that you prob wanted, but just so you knew we were one and the same!) but what I love even more is being comfortable, so if i were you I’d pick option 2. But this would prob never happen to me, because it would actually involve shopping, which I loathe. The option I generally go for is to call up my sister, ask her if I can borrow something, ask her if she can pick it out and then just put on whatever she gives me. This saves me an immense amount of pain, as I find shopping horrible and depressing.
As with PPs, I agree that you are really adorable and anything you are feeling about your body is really only noticeable to you. To me, you seem like a super friendly, really nice person whose blog I enjoy visiting bc I like your writing style.
Chris, I’m glad you told me it was you! I love all your bird stories! I should send the dress to you! 🙂
I wish I had a sister’s closet to raid! That’s one of the biggest thing i miss about living with my girlfriends — more wardrobe possibilities. And the ability to runway the outfits for them to see what works. For some reason, my husband never gives me valuable feedback! 🙂
And your PPS seriously made my weekend. That is such a sweet thing to say and I really appreciate it. Thank you for that and for continuing to come back and listen to me whining. I look forward to checking out your blog as well … especially if there are bird nerd posts! Good luck!
Yay! I was seriously going to go to Marshall’s and see if they also had that dress up here (Jersey) but I just could not bring myself to do it, lol. I do love me some Marshall’s for their running clothes, though!
Well, I meant every word. I found your blog awhile back through Meals and Miles and since my family are also Disneyphiles (my grandfather worked there and so every family vacation was there and my parents have a vacation club place now too!) I kept reading. So I came for the Disney, but I stayed for the great content and writing! Keep it up 🙂
So I’m commenting while my jeans are unbuttoned because they are cutting into my stomach…but anyway:
wear what’s comfortable, like everyone says. and accessories! they can help you dress an outfit up or down. maybe a fun little jacket to bring with you, in case you get cold? and I think a nautical look is perfect for the Cape -or maybe I just like stereotyping.