Previously on MomJovi.com, audiences worldwide were left in suspense. Would DadJovi successfully build the Ikea dresser? Would he keep his sanity? Could this marriage be saved?
Well, folks, it was a close call on all fronts.
This is how far he got during Night 1 of the Great Ikea Project of 2011.
It already had a huge fan base.
With the concentration of a fine craftsman, he turned his attention to the trickiest part — the drawers.
Handy Manny totally works in his boxers too, right? Oh wait, that’s just when he visits the backroom of Kelly’s hardware store.
It was about this time that the system really started breaking down. Let’s just say we won’t have to wonder where E. learned not one, not two, but at least eight versions of the F word. See that old-school Coke bottle on the table? Thankfully it was Mexican Coke because somehow that glass didn’t shatter when it was tossed on the floor. I think he forgot I’d picked up soda bottles for dinner and assumed it was plastic.
The dresser has five drawers. After successfully putting the first one together, DadJovi proceeded to build the drawers backwards not once, not twice but THREE TIMES. It wasn’t pretty around here.
At least someone was pleased with the progress.
But then I put her to bed before she was traumatized any further. There was only so many times she could ask him, “Daddy, what’s wrong?” before he truly lost his shit.
After about another hour of sweating, laboring and plotting to smite the Swedes off the face of the Earth, it was done! We stood back to admire his handiwork.
And that’s when I noticed it. Do I tell the person who has spent probably six hours laboring over this mega-project that I see a flaw? Or do I live with it?
Yeah, biting my tongue isn’t exactly my style. Let me draw your attention toward the floor.
Those are lovely curved legs, huh? There’s just one problem. That picture was taken from the side.
Yup, he never even noticed that the two curved legs should be in the front and the two straight legs should be in the back. Oops!
A few adjustments later, we were back in the business. And then I made the mistake of one more close inspection. I’m a lot of fun, huh? Honestly, I just can’t help myself. What can I say? I can’t seem to leave producing and supervising at the office.
Now, this is what I see every time I look at the dresser.
What are the chances I can get a small pot of that gray paint from Ikea? Nte troligt! For you non-Swedes, that mean’s not likely. I totally speak Swedish by association now. (and, by the way, I could play with Google translate for hours. It’s entirely too much fun).
But, at the end of the day, it’s SO much better than the dresser we had in there before. The old dresser was beautiful on the outside but it was just past its prime. The drawers stuck as you tried to pull them out and left tiny wood shavings all over E’s clothes. Fun, huh? Poor baby would get splinters in her knees just from putting her leggings on!
I think it fits in nicely in her room.
Even if the color doesn’t match her bed and vanity (she has my mom’s old bedroom suite from when she was a little girl. My great-grandmother bought it for her), the handles match the ones on the vanity, so it works.
Even if it didn’t, she’s just going to have to deal with it. Forever. I suspect she’s not getting a new dresser until she goes to college. Unless she wants to build it herself.
Are you surprised the dresser is in one piece? And would you have told your carpenter that the legs were on wrong?
Woo-hoooooo!
I’m glad that E knows so many variations of the F words. Makes me feel a little better 🙂
I probably WOULD have told Dan they were on wrong. And then made fun of him – for years.
I think the pain is still too fresh, but believe me, the taunting will commence soon!
And as for the cursing, as much as we’ve tried to stop completely, we just can’t. At least we’re finally at the point where she understands that there are some words Mommy and Daddy can say but that she can’t. Well, I hope we are. I’m still half expecting a call from preschool one day where they tell me she yelled the f word when dropping something. That’s usually what I save it for!
I would totally Sharpee that one spot. Or put a Hello Kitty sticker over it.
I love IKEA but shopping at the store and putting anything together from there makes me want to jump off a bridge.
Do they make gray Sharpees? But I also support the sticker call. She can switch it every couple years as her sticker choices mature.
All I know is that there was no way in hell the dresser was getting returned at that point.
Ikea is wonderful in so many ways (particularly its free two-hour baby jail) but it makes me oh-so stabby, too.
I had faith in your handy man all along – but I’m surprised it was done so quickly! I would have needed about a week and a half to get something with that many pieces done. (And likely would have been threatened with divorce in the process!)
Oh, and I totally noticed the front leg right off the bat! It would have been impossible for me NOT to mention it!
RIGHT? There was no way to ignore that. And if I had, slowly over the years, it would have festered and simmered under the surface until I would have exploded in some future unrelated argument and brought up the dresser. Yes, it was better for us all to get it over with now. He was already miserable and angry anyway, so I figured I couldn’t make it much worse!
And he’ll be so excited to hear someone thought he finished it quickly. Two complete evenings didn’t feel fast to him.
Haha – too funny! I feel your pain on the marathon, F-word-filled projects. We have had PLENTY around our house. And I, too, would’ve seen nothing but the mismatched legs if they hadn’t been corrected. Good luck with the gray paint!
Thanks! Thankfully I don’t notice the scratch as much in her bedroom as I did when it was still out in the living room. I think we all need a few days to mentally and emotionally recover before I start experimenting with cover-up techniques!
I bet there’s a scrabooking marker that would almost match.
Ooooh, good call. I predict my future holds me coming home from Michael’s with 12 shades of gray markers and paint pots
LOL! OMG, my hubby put some Ikea furniture together for my office/store front and screwed up some “directional” items. I was like, seriously? Did you pay any attention? Funny thing is, tonight he brought home the same item to construct (I am working on my eBay room and need multiples) and he made the SAME DAMN mistake again! I kept my mouth shut this time, but he KNEW to fix it! LOL!
Ikeaggedon haha You’re too funny Jackie! Love it!