I have a feeling I know what my husband and I will be doing for the next several nights. This …
… and don’t forget about this hot mess …
With its 23-page instruction manual, I have a feeling we’re in over our heads. As we started unloading the two boxes, I suddenly remembered my long ago vow to NEVER, ever again build another Ikea dresser. I hate when past Jackie screws present Jackie by not remembering crucial information like this when it really matters — in the Ikea store when I’m convincing DadJovi that, “This won’t be that bad. We can totally knock this out this week.” Why are you such a liar, Jackie? Why???
We don’t have much of a choice, though. E’s current dresser, which is a family hand-me-down, fell apart this week. The drawers collapsed and there is splintering wood everywhere. It looks like something in those “Don’t do this at home” baby-proofing manuals.
As soon as DadJovi gets done putting E. to bed, this is what our Monday night has in store for us. In theory, this is what the end result will be:
Along the way, I expect we’re going to look a lot like the guy on the left.
And I’m calling total bullshit on the picture on the right. There’s no way we’d get a satisfactory answer by calling Ikea. Don’t get me wrong, I sincerely love that Swedish emporium. But effective step-by-step instructions by phone? Well that just doesn’t seem likely. Maybe he’s smiling because he’s calling them to inform them that the instructions have finally driven him insane. He doesn’t care anymore because a padded room, free of the 2,567 screws awaits him.
I’m hoping we gain a dresser out of this without losing a marriage in the process. This could be the true test of our love.
If you don’t hear from me, send help … and some Swedish carpenters!
Cynthia (It All Changes) says
I get sick pleasure out of putting these things together…they are fun puzzles.
Katy (The Singing Runner) says
Ha! I’m sorry, the pictures in the instruction manual made me laugh- along with your commentary. 😉
Good luck!!! Hope you two can assemble it pain free!
It’s as if the pictures are purposely trying to mock the people who will be assembling the furniture, right? Maybe I just don’t get Swedish humor but it feels like they’re making fun of us! Let’s be honest, I’m sure we deserve it. I just can’t get over the sheer volume of screws, wooden pegs, nails, etc. It’s like we’re building an ark or something!
Michelle @ Crazy*Running*Legs says
Oh, we really are so alike.
We bought this play kitchen for B for his 2nd Christmas. The directions said it would take 1 hour for assembly and I’m pretty sure it took us 5-6. It doesn’t help that my husband doesn’t like to read the instructions. He’ll just start putting stuff together without looking at anything.
Good luck! I, obviously, will not be the first one you call for help. Hee.
When I read this outloud to my husband last night he started tearing through the extensive instruction manual looking for a time estimate. I think it’s better for his (and my!) sanity that he never found one.
I really think Florida should do away with the FCAT and just give Ikea dressers to high school seniors. If they can read the instructions and successfully put a dresser together, they can handle anything the world is going to throw at them!
Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance says
Haha aw best of luck assembling! My dresser is from IKEA too and I didn’t even attempt it myself. I took one look at the instructions, and paid my roommate’s boyfriend to do it for me.
I know, I know, I’m a sore loser 🙁
The instructions are terrifying, huh? When we stopped last night, we’d completed steps 19 of 50! Yes, 50! This thing will never get finished. You had the right idea!
Does your roommate’s boyfriend make housecalls?
Dina @ DinaRuns says
I attempted to put together a bookcase by myself a few months ago and it ended up being too large for the room where I was assembling it. My husband had to take it apart and move it to a larger room. In the process of moving it, I dropped my end and the bookcase hit the floor. It may have dented the floor and my husband may not ever let me attempt furniture assembly alone.