For the better part of a year, I’ve been trying my hand at this whole blogging thing.
It was an idea I had been toying with for awhile, and I’ve got to admit, being friends with social media superstar Katy Widrick is pretty contagious. I would come into the work in the morning and tell her my outrageous stories about parenting, and time and time again, she’d just shake her head and say, “Why aren’t you blogging again?”
I never had a good reason.
The thing that really pushed me to take the plunge once and for all was the heartbreaking decision to put our two dogs to sleep. I was — and 14 months later still am — devastated. They were my first babies and I felt so guilty and so, so sad. So before I ever even pushed the site live, created categories or anything, I poured my heart out into a post — What My Dogs Taught Me About Motherhood.
My babies
And I’m so glad I did it. Whenever I miss them, I go back and re-read it and spend some time communing with them in some way.
After realizing how cathartic is was to write and knowing how much I’d always be grateful for having that post, I started blogging regularly about my daughter.
I’ve never been a good scrapbooker (I think I’m missing that particular gene). And see this box? These are photos from E’s first 3 years that are STILL waiting to be put into albums.
This is the saddest thing right here. I actually managed to get pictures from E’s first 3 months into the 0-3 months album. But the 3-12 months albums are still empty. Someday.
But I’ve finally given up. Instead, she’ll someday have this blog to know about her life as a toddler. I struggle sometimes with what is and what isn’t appropriate or even fair to blog about her. After all, it’s her life, not mine. I try really hard to not blog about anything too embarrassing (for example, I have no potty training posts).
Mostly, I try to tell things from my perspective. I still worry sometimes that she won’t see it like that. But then, I was recently catching up the last few Oprahs I have on my DVR (yeah, I’m current like that). I was about to hit delete when I got to the Ralph Lauren episode because c’mon, they’re just too perfect for words and I don’t need that in my life.
Don't hate us because our lives are awesome!
But I’m a glutton for punishment, so I kept watching. The teepees sucked me in. Seriously — Ralph Lauren has these elaborate teepee guest houses on his Montana ranch. And of course Oprah kept talking about how it was always her dream to stay there. How can that woman have any unfulfilled dreams left? Can’t she leave some for the rest of us?
Then Oprah sat down with Ralph’s wife and kids. The Steel Magnolias line “the whole family looks like they were carved out of cream cheese” comes to mind.
Us? Yeah, you should totally hate us
Despite the fact that my eyes were burning out of my head because I was so jealous of them, one of the kids said something that really hit a nerve with me. When describing the hundreds of scrapbooks their mother made for them over the years (see, the reasons to hate them just kept piling and piling), one of the sons said, “They gave us a chance for us to know ourselves from her perspective.”
And in that moment, I knew that’s exactly what I’m doing for my daughter with blogging. Sure, total strangers get to share in these stories before she ever will, but, at the end of the day, if she can somehow feel the same way and know me in a way she otherwise might never see me, all the better!
Besides, over the past couple years, my memory has gone to shit. I blame it on pregnancy. I forget things all.the.time. Last night, Michelle and I were at book club and the other moms were saying they can barely remember things about their babies from just a couple years ago and they were sad they didn’t journal or scrapbook better to remember the little things.
I’m not sure if Michelle caught the look I shot her, but that’s when I realized there’s another fringe benefit of blogging — preserving memories forever!
And if E. doesn’t see things this way someday too? Well, I’m her parent. It’s my job to screw her up.
Why do you blog? Do you worry about sharing too much about the people in your life — kids, spouses, friends, family, etc.? And if your kids are older, when exactly will she start hating me for blogging? I just want to be prepared for that day.
I love this post Jackie!! Such an excellent point about seeing yourself from your mother’s perspective, would be fascinating to read for E someday! I also hope blogging will show my kids someday that yes, I was actually young and cool at one point. 🙂 My aha moment was when I realized how much I was helping other women. Whenever I get those emails telling me I helped them change their fashion lives, that does it for me! *swoon*
Thanks J! And I wouldn’t worry — I think you’re ALWAYS going to be young and cool. Just keep redefining what the means at every age stage and watch what happens!
And paying it forward is a huge reason to keep blogging too that I didn’t even get into but you’re right. On my About Me page I describe how much I’ve learned from other bloggers over the years and how they’ve made me realize that I’m not crazy for struggling with a, b, and c. So the chance to in some way help someone else is — you’re dead on — swoon worthy!
I saw the look! Ha. Of course, I was thinking about this too.
I have a million pictures of Braeden and Livie and not all of the memories line up – but part of the reason I blog is definitely to tell them my story and to show them how much they impacted my life. My mom journaled and scrapbooked but stopped when we got older and I know she wishes she had kept going.
I really wanted to bust out with “You should start a blog!” but at the same time a few of them said they didn’t even have time to go on Facebook, so I figured it was a lost cause. Ha ha.
I love this post!
I blog becaus, like my tag line says, it’s a form of therapy for me. But it is also a form of chronology, journaling, sharing, communicating, learning…so many things! I’m a very honest and open book so I don’t worry a lot of sharing too much, but I will draw the line at excessive cussing, sex, descriptive bodily functions, you know, TMI.
I have been a scrapbooker, but I’ve seriously fallen off the that particular wagon for the past couple years now. I do hope to pick it back up though. So there should be a plethora of information for my kids once they’re grown!
Blogging is very therapeutic for me too, Jennifer. That’s why I (so far) don’t stress myself about things like how often I post, what topics I blog about, etc. First and foremost, blogging is a hobby that makes me feel better. And if I’m going to start stressing about things like that, it defeats the purpose, no?
Thanks for the comment and the RT!
For ten years I was the world’s biggest scrapbooker. I started before I even had kids. I loved it. I loved the creative aspect of it, the social aspect of it, everything. For some reason about a year ago I started not feeling it anymore. It’s sad because I have a whole room full of scrapbooking stuff. I actually would still like to do it, but just haven’t had the motivation to put scissors and glue to paper. I do have awesome scrapbooks from the time Cal was born up through about 2007, when Mack would have been 3.
I’ve had my blog for about five years. I actually started it to share scrapbook pages with other scrapbooker friends (if you look at my WAYYYY old posts you’ll see page after page of scrapbook pages). I really didn’t do much else with the blog for years. Then about a year ago I decided to start quasi-daily blogging. I can’t even really remember why I decided that. Maybe because I realized that I wasn’t scrapping as much and the memories were being lost. So I guess blogging is my new scrapbooking (which I think I even said on my “about” page).
I do sometimes worry that I’m sharing too much. I actually do hold back on posting things that I think would be embarrassing to my kids or to our family. I guess I’m not easily embarrassed because I realize that alot of my posts are potentially embarrassing to me personally, or would be to alot of people. My kids are used to me documenting everything because of my scrapbook history (I’ve been taking their picture constantly since the day they were born). I don’t know if they’ll be mortified as teenagers or not. Cal already has that “tween” thing starting to happen. He’ll be 10 in a few weeks. I guess if worst came to worst I could always reset it to private in the future. I definitely want to get my blog printed into a book form…there are companies that do that. Then it’s a real paper scrapbook!
If you ever print out your blog into a book, you have to blog about it! I’m dying to know how it looks and if it’s worth or not.
My new current obsession is Shutterfly photo books. I make them for all our trips and family pics, etc. SO much easier than printing pictures and putting them into albums — and cheaper.
If you set your family blog to private, do you think you’d start a second blog to help you keep writing/journaling about fitness and food? I’ve started toying with that idea for some point in the future if E really puts her foot down eventually.
Great post! I blog because it gives me an opportunity to share my passions. I first began to blog just to share recipes & fitness with my best friend who up & moved to South Africa….I never thought people would actually read. It’s been so great to touch base with others who have questions, are looking for encouragement, or even new friends. I love it!
It is fun how something that starts as something so private can take you down paths you never imagined, isn’t it? For example, now I know you!
I love your idea of a shared blog. I wish I had started something like that with my friends back North when I up and moved to the South (not quite South Africa — but still South!).
Great posts Jackie, thanks for sharing. I’m so happy that you found comfort from blogging. As you notes, blogging is a great way to look back on memories and experiences, especially when they are about your kids. I recently launched http://www.whyiblog.com for people to share their story and read about others. I would love to hear what you have to say. Keep up the great blogging!