I’ve really been trying to whip my ass into shape lately. I’d always heard the hushed whispers about what happens to your body when you hit your mid-30s, but I didn’t want to believe them. Surely those people were just using it as a crutch.
Now that I’ve officially hit my mid-30s with my recent 35th birthday, I can assure you — it’s no joke. My body is playing some cruel tricks on me.
I know that I’ve needed to drop some weight for awhile, but at least before, it was mostly evenly distributed and easy enough to cover. But lately, it’s all collecting in one place — my gut. I started realizing this last summer when a certain food truck owner congratulated me on my pregnancy. Sadly, he wasn’t the last person to make this mistake.
If one more flipping person asks me when I’m due, I’m liable to punch them in their face and just hope for a female judge — she’d never convict me of the battery charges. My usual answer now when asked that question (and more often than not by women. Bitches) is, “Four years ago.”
The past six weeks or so, I’ve been exercising more consistently than any other time in the past several years. I’ve been going to the gym at least 3, and oftentimes more, times a week. Katy and I came up with a good plan to start going during lunch and doing crazy quick and intense workouts. Let me say, getting your ass kicked by a pregnant woman, particularly one in the throes of her first trimester, has been humbling. Even as she was trying not to puke, she still kicked my ass. But it was a good, much-needed ass kicking and I feel like my arms and legs are already getting stronger.
I’ve also been running more, going to Dance Trance more regularly and doing a much better job of eating healthier meals. In fact, I think half my stomach issues may be all the veggies I’ve been cramming in there lately. It’s a shock to the system.
But you’d never know that based on the scale. Listen, I’m realistic. I know you can’t just instantly drop weight. But I do know my body. If I had put half this effort into exercise and dieting a year ago, I would have lost AT LEAST 5 pounds by this point. But now my weight seems to be stuck at the same pesky, obnoxious number. And the stomach bloat isn’t going away.
It seems I’m going to have to get aggressive, and, cue the violins, I DON’T WANT TO. I don’t want to count calories. I don’t want to give up some of my favorite food groups, like sugar and alcohol. And I sure as hell don’t want to hire some boot camp instructor or personal trainer to kick my ass on a daily basis. But it’s starting to become very clear that that’s what I’m going to need to do.
This girl impressed the hell out of me last night by not only not drinking during our monthly Central Florida Lady Bloggers meet-up, but she also ordered a ridiculously healthy dinner at the sushi restaurant afterwards. So apparently shrimp tempura negates the health benefits of sushi, huh? Damn. How’d she get so smart?
And we won’t even talk about these …
It has the word “mango” in the title. That’s basically a health food, right?
No, that definitely wasn’t a health food. Although my favorite part of this picture is Colleen’s OK fingers, trying to encourage me to suck it down. Enabler.
Know what really drives home your weight issues? Standing with these gorgeous ladies for a group shot.
By the way, if you’re looking for some great new reads, these lovely ladies are, from left to right: J, Roxy, Paula, Roz, Michelle, yours truly, Colleen, Katy, Hemarie and Victoria. (P.S. thanks for letting me steal some of the above pics and links Paula, Victoria and J!).
Note to self: do not stand front and center when you are a least a head taller than the two people next to you (thanks to some high wedges). Some day I will learn posture so as to not look so awkward in such shots.
Needless to say, though, I lack the willpower of this girl or supreme dedication to running and spinning of this girl. I really have cut back on extra snacks and alcohol. I rarely drink at home anymore, and last night, it would have been a waste to not drink since my neighbor and pal Victoria volunteered to drive us (of course, then I ditched her for sushi with Michelle and Paula. I’m klassy like that. In my defense, she wanted to get home for the draft and gave me her blessing!).
All that being said, I just want to know how my metabolism disappeared over night. The best (and laziest) solution I can think of is to try and convince E. to nurse again. When I was nursing, the weight literally melted off me. In fact, in my heyday, when I was still nursing but she was also sleeping through the night so I had energy to actually exercise, I was about two sizes smaller than I am now. I miss that short-lived, glorious period.
Think she’d be game for some breast milk? It’s only been 3 years since she quit. It’s got to be easier than Weight Watchers.
Do you find your metabolism slowing as you get older? Have you found any natural metabolism-boosting foods or vitamins? What are your best tips for jump-starting a HEALTHY weight-loss journey? Be honest — I’m going to have to have my ass kicked my a trainer, aren’t I?
And send me an email if you’re interested in joining us for our monthly blogger meet-ups. I’m even planning the June one!
Ugh… you’re not the only one… and I’m only 31! I keep saying that I can’t claim baby weight now that Julia is 2! If you find a good plan, will you let me in? Maybe weight-loss challenge from PA to Florida????
At least your kid is only 2. I still use the baby weight excuse and mine is 4! I like the cross-state fitness challenge idea! We’re smart girls. We have to be able to come up with something!
I so know what you are saying here! My 35th birthday is coming up and over the past several months I have noticed that I can’t lose weight for anything. In my younger years, it was so easy! I quit drinking soda, gave up my favorite coffee drink for a skinnier coffee drink, started walking…. I have not lost a single ounce! I finally weighed in on the Wii Fit the other day and it kindly reminded me that I am up 7 pounds from 2 months ago.
It is time for drastic measures and I am seriously unhappy about it. I don’t want to give up my favorite foods and I really do not want to work out. But, my jeans are kindly reminding me that I need to do something!
Exactly! It used to be so easy (well, relatively easy) to at least make my jeans feel comfortable again. Now I’m having to buy the next size up just to keep the muffin top in check, even with all these efforts. I remember before one event maybe 5 years ago, the only thing I did was eat Special K for dinner for two weeks and I dropped like 8 pounds. Now, I guarantee I’d still gain weight if I did that.
I really admire people who work out all the time doing things like major races, CrossFit, lots of yoga, etc. But that’s just not me. I try to WANT TO want to do those things, but it never happens. It’s all a chore for me. I’m not asking to be a size 6 … just not accused of constantly being 4 months pregnant.
And that Wii chick is a beeatch. I’ve been avoiding her for a long time because she’ll remind me of my weight gain and tell me my health age is 56.
Maybe menopause will eventually help sort us out. Something to look forward to!
Good luck to you!
The Wii chick sucks. I hate how she’s always telling me how I’m not balanced.
Of course you had my blessing- I couldn’t wait to sit on the couch, eat pizza, and watch the draft. How’s that for klassy?
The weight thing is tough. For me, it’s been a combo of stress and fertility meds – and long distance running, which somehow made me gain weight instead of losing it. Eeh.
I know! I have no balance, so I think that automatically adds a least a decade or two to my age every time.
Everyone says the same about long-distance running. So at least that’s not my goal since I can’t run more than 3 miles right now anyway! But at least doing those 3 miles more regularly, with some occasional long ones thrown in there for good measure, IS a goal.
Why can’t we just wave a wand and be skinny? We deal with enough crap on a daily basis as women. Shouldn’t this ONE thing be taken care of for us?
And you’re wicked classy. You know more about wedding etiquette than anyone I’ve ever met! 🙂
It looks like you gals had fun as always, boo on having class! But yay on being done w/ school next week & being able to make the May meetup!
I hear you on the metabolism thing, I just turned 30 this year & I can already feel it getting slower — my body does not react the same way to food than it used to in my early – mid twenties. I come packed with Latin, curvacious, eat-and-see-it-on-the-hips-immediately genes girl, this has been a constant struggle of mine.
I have a few things I do that I believe help me at the very least not gain weight, let’s chat next time I see you. Speaking of which, did you get the Barre 54 groupon? Say yes so we can go!!!
Congrats on being done! Can’t wait to see you at the next one, if not sooner!
You come with Latin genes and I come with thick, farming German genes. Which nationality is the skinny one and is it too late to switch?!?
And no, I did not get the Groupon. Another item on my list of things that’s depressing me. I meant to do it when I got home from work that night, but E. was sick when I picked her up and I had to go into full-time Dr. Mom mode and completely forgot about it until the next day. Blerg. Although it kind of scared me anyway! I did recently buy three passes to CP Yoga at a silent auction so I’ll let you know when I’m using them! Can’t wait to hear your tips!
Firstly, I LOLed at the breast feeding idea. You KNOW if I ever have a kid, I’m pumping for the rest of my life, right? I already have it planned out.
Secondly, I know exactly how this mid-30s thing is. I’ve got 6 or 7 months on you and I feel like I’m on this slippery slope. You just gotta find your trigger and get rid of it for awhile. For me, it’s alcohol. I don’t drink 1 drink. I drink 10. That is not an exagerration. I love to drink. Then I spent so much time drinking that I don’t eat. Then, 6 hours later I realize I’m starving and then hoover in 4 pieces of pizza and a box of cereal and then go to bed. Not a good habit to have. So I gotta not drink at all until I can get this thing under control. Oh, and I forgot to tell you about what I’m doing that my trainer recommended, so I’ll email that to you.
We can do this. Keep up your exercise and use Katy as motivation! Nothing worse than a pregnant chick kicking your ass. NOTHING. 🙂
I totally miss the breastfeeding calorie burn! If only we could go back!
I do worry about my metabolism in the near but distant future. I see my family members — it’s like looking into the future and it scares me. To say this is not my underlying motivation would be a lie! I am really trying to push myself to eat healthier — more whole foods, less processed, no refined sugar, no soda, etc. I’m not perfect and I’m NOT cutting out my wine – but I do think eat whole foods is so key.
And maybe go see an endocrinologist? Just to get a panel of your hormone levels. You never know what could be triggering this!
I agree with you on whole foods. It’s why I’ve avoided the route of so many dieting systems because they all seem to be full of “fake” food … low cal this, sugar-free that. That can’t be good for the long term can it? But they’re probably all good headstarts, too. Sigh.
Now, Michelle. I never go see a primary care physician. You think I’m going to go find an endocrinologist? Ha! 🙂
I noticed my metabolism slowing down when I was about 28…and it’s still on it’s way down! I’ll be 34 this year and it scares me to think about how long this could go on! I focused hard during 2010 and lost 30…and then promptly gained 10 or 12 back during 2011. Now I’m having a heck of a time getting that 10 back off!
Abd now I realize I need to move to Orlando so I can attend the meetups! …Well…ans Orlando is probably a LOT cooler than Bradenton…
That’s what’s so frustrating about weight loss … you work so hard to receive a goal, then you have to work just as hard to not negate all your hard work. It’s such a vicious cycle of suckiness, no?
And YES, move to Orlando. Or at least come to visit from time to time. 🙂
It was so lovely to meet you ladies last night!
I bartended and served for many years, so that extra weight started to creep up on me when I got an office job and went from being on my feet all day to sitting in a chair. And I’m pretty sure my hips doubled in size. I like to think they’re just getting ready for child baring, despite my lack of actual pregnancy. Hey, what can I say? I’ve always been a planner? 🙂
Maybe we should start a challenge… like plank-day but squats? I want to see if my ass can get bigger than Kim Kardashian’s….
Darn! Wish I’d been there! Those Mango Shake thingies sound WAY too good. Hope to make it next month though.
I noticed a major slowdown in my metabolism around age 30. When I was in my late 20’s, I used to go out several nights a week, drink several drinks on those nights (we’re talking like 4-5+ depending on the night) and I weighed almost 20 lbs less than I do now. Argh.
If weight loss were a person, she’d surely be one of those bitches from Real Housewives, Big Rich Texas, or Dance Moms (the moms, not the poor, unfortunate girls who will be super embarrassed in about 10 years if they aren’t already). You know the type: one minute she’s your friend, all super sweet and hugging you every 5 minutes before suddenly turning on with her evil, liquid eyelinered eye, stabbing you in the back as she brags to her other, richer, thinner friends about how she really had you going that you two “were totally best buds” when, in fact, you weren’t.
The best thing to do with a “friend” like that? Ignore her. Trying to keep up with her malicious ways will only leave you upset and angry. Instead, find some new healthier friends that are constant and consistent. Find a fitness-related hobby, sign up for races with friends, take the hubs and E. out for family walks. Above all, stick with it and don’t get discouraged right now because that will only let that bitchy friend WIN.
On a side note, I love your idea of nursing E. again. I swear, if there were a pill that harnessed the effects of breastfeeding, it would be the #1 selling weight-loss item of all time!
I found your blog via Ms. Paula and this post title captured me. I used to eat more processed crap when I was younger and worked out way more. Now I work out less and eat better and it seems to be the magic solution. The two times I’ve really lost weight (5-10 pounds) was with 100% diet changes and very little exercise. Weird right?
Giving up bread…that really helped me get a flat stomach. I still have bread occasionally, but it better be delicious bread. I’m not going to eat mediocre bread. Also…warm water with lemon slices when you wake up.
Good luck.