Forget those sexy hoarding objects like stray animals or giant packages of toilet paper. My daughter has her own special — and growing — collection. And if one of the items in her collection disappears, she turns into a CSI detective and starts searching the house.
What treasures could a 3-year-old love so dearly? Toothbrushes.
She currently has five toothbrushes. While that may not seem like a lot, I challenge you to try to get her to brush her teeth in a timely manner, particularly when we’re running late once again for preschool/work.
“How about the Belle toothbrush this morning?”
“You mean the Dora mermaid one?”
“Yes, that one.”
“OK, how about Dora in a dress?”
“No, not that one.”
“The one you got at school?”
“Then which one?”
I swear, every morning is like “Groundhog Day” and we relive this same conversation. Now, I can almost hear you through the computer wondering why I don’t just grow a set and pare down her collection to at least two. And my response? Did you not read the sentence where I told you she’s a hoarder? As we’ve all learned on TV, it’s an illness and unless I can get Peter Walsh up in here, those toothbrushes aren’t going anywhere.
Besides, it gives me the chance to shake my head every morning and night at the Cinderella toothbrush. Listen, I’m all for expanding the portrayals of real women’s bodies to something much more reasonable (you know, like a size 2), but who were they trying to get this toothbrush to look like? Cinderella, 15 years and three children into her marriage to Prince Charming?
It’s just so awkward and matronly. I suppose I should be glad that it’s E’s favorite toothbrush, but I just can’t believe she even recognizes that it’s Cinderella. I guess that’s the beauty of a child’s imagination — the suspension of belief.
I guess the most important thing is that she’s actually brushing her teeth and apparently doing it well. We had her very first check-up about six weeks ago, and her teeth looked perfect, according to the dentist.
So if it takes an Old Maid and her cast of characters to get those chompers clean, I’m not complaining.
What does your child hoard?