I’m sick. Grossly sick.

My stomach wasn’t feeling great at work on Monday, but I figured it just had a hangover from my weekend of Thanksgiving gluttony. But by the time I picked E. up from school, made dinner and cleaned up dinner, I was starting to feel pretty awful. Within an hour, I had a fever and I was in the fetal position on my couch.

Monday night was a long night filled with fever spikes and breaks and way too many trips to the bathroom. Somehow I have some super awesome bug that is the regular flu + the stomach flu. How lucky am I?

It was an easy call to stay home from work on Tuesday. Between the fever and the stomach, I knew my co-workers would thank me.

I actually got an awesome night’s sleep on Tuesday. I closed my eyes at 10:45 p.m. and didn’t open them once until 7 a.m. Even when I’m well I never sleep that long and sound.

I got up today intending to head back to work. My stomach still felt weak but the fever was gone. So I showered, got E. up, fed her breakfast, made lunch for her and DadJovi and minute by minute, I started feeling worse. By the time I was getting dressed, I knew I couldn’t go in.

So I’m home again today. And so far, my stomach has rejected everything I’ve put into it — tea, toast and gingerale have all sent me running to the bathroom. Looks like water will be my only source of sustenance.

I better lose 10 pounds out of this.

I’m not alone in my sickness. We’re dog-sitting our pal Toby again this week for my father- and new mother-in-law (they’re on a cruise and got married last night!). She told us that he seemed to pull a leg muscle the day before they left. He’s putting weight on it OK when he walks but he’s definitely a lot more lethargic than usual.

Poor baby. The only way he’s been eating or drinking is if I put his bowls right up on his bed and sit there with him. E. was so excited for him to come and to take him on walks but he just doesn’t have it in him. So instead, she keeps showing him all our Christmas ornaments and reading him books.

So, Tob-man and I are laying low, taking naps and trying to survive another day.

If I didn’t feel so awful, I’d actually appreciate the two days to myself. This is my fault, really. There have been times when I’ve been so busy and stressed lately that I’ve wished for a minor illness to ground me. Careful what you wish for! I take it back, Universe. I take it back! I’m so sick of being in my bathroom! And I miss food. A lot.

I’m pretty sure that one side effect must be that my emotions are running wild. Yesterday I finally got around to watching one of the final Oprahs that are STILL on my DVR (do you see how infrequently I get the DVR to myself?) and I sobbed through the entire thing. It featured three of her favorite guests, including children of divorce, two Rwandan girls who survived genocide by hiding in the trees and were reunited with their parents 15 years later and a mom who recorded hundreds of tapes for her young daughter after she was diagnosed with cancer. She died at age 36 and her daughter was 6. A sobbing mess, I tell you.

Then today, this commercial brought me to tears.

Why are you trying to hurt me Hallmark? I think it even made Toby sadder.

And I’m so bummed I’m going to miss the Central Florida Lady Bloggers meetup tonight. I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. But trust me, you all don’t want me bringing my germy self to the party.

But enough pity-partying. It could be worse, a lot worse — DadJovi or E could be the sick ones. And believe me, they are not fun patients.

Other than my body rejecting all food and beverages, I am feeling much better today. In fact, I’ve been doing work for most of the day whereas yesterday I was only able to muster a couple hours.

And no, before you ask, I am 100 percent not pregnant. I just live with a 3-year-old and we all know they are walking germ laboratories.

When was the last time an illness knocked you out of commission? It’s been a long time for me. And what else should I try and eat?