I’m so frustrated. Someone PLEASE tell me how to get my child to eat right. Pretty, pretty please!
From the very beginning, I’ve tried to do everything “right.” And for awhile it worked. E.’s very first non-breast milk, non-rice cereal food was sweet potatoes and she LOVED them. And I made them — and all of her baby food. And her first finger food? Peas, glorious, peas.
More peas please
My baby loved her veggies so much that she would refuse fruit in favor of veggies. And I was so cocky. “Oh, it’s so easy to get kids to eat right. You just have to start from the beginning.” Ha! What do you know you dumb ass?
The older she got, the more foods we introduced. I couldn’t wait for her to get over a year to start expanding her diet even more. By 18 months, our baby had pho, curry, chana masala, miso soup, veggie loaded marinara sauce and more — and she loved it all.
But then, almost overnight, it stopped sometime around 2. I thought it was a stage, but here we are, at age 3 1/2 and her diet is basically down to:
- peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
- almost any fruit
- string cheese
- yogurt squeezers
- spaghetti (butter and cheese only)
- shredded chicken and turkey
- edamame
- Annie’s organic gummy bunnies
- And yes, of course, chicken nuggets
And I’m losing my mind. I can’t tell you how many hours I spend scouring the Internet trying to find recipes that might appeal to her. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve tried bribing, threatening and more — and nothing works.
She also helps me cook all the time. Isn’t that supposed to make kids excited about eating? Only once has that paid off when she mysteriously decided she loved kale chips and carrots after helping me clean up and prepare a bunch of veggies our friends brought us from their school’s garden.
Oh yes, but that evening ended with her puking up all the carrots.
At this point, I think she’s just refusing new foods to be a contrarian. Take tonight, for example. I thought I hit the jackpot when I saw Mama Pea post a recipe for Noodle Salad With Peanut Mmmm Sauce. I mean, c’mon, it combined three of her favorite things — spaghetti, peanut butter and edamame. It’s got to be a winner right? And just look how delicious this looked.
I even caved to her pickiness and didn’t put the red peppers and bok choy in her bowl. There should have been no reason for her not to eat this. But she wouldn’t. Not at all. She ate one of the beans and spit it out. Same with the spaghetti. She said to me, “Mommy, I don’t like orange spaghetti.” What about this is orange?
DadJovi was still at work and after my single parent weekend, I just couldn’t even deal. So I did what DadJovi always tells me I can’t do — I gave her another dinner. Spaghetti with butter and cheese it is. And for the moment, she was pleased with herself.
But then she barely touched that either.
I give up. I mean, she eats good, balanced meals for breakfast and lunch. Should I just give up on dinner? Do I become a short-order cook and prepare foods for her I know she’ll eat? Or is it eat what we eat or nothing?
Everyone I ask or every book I read offers a different opinion and approach.
I’m just tired of the fights. Tired of the crying. And tired of spending so much time searching for meals with her specifically in mind and preparing these meals when she won’t even touch them.
Am I doomed to a picky eater? Does it get better??
SEND HELP!
Yes, it gets better!
I used to stress out about Braeden because he’s one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. I have NO idea where he gets it from. Dan and I both like to eat and apparently that all manifested itself in Livie. Braeden (who breastfed for more than 2 years — so it’s not about that) doesn’t like the weirdest stuff. He also has strange moments where he eats ANYTHING and everything — and then he won’t eat for days. I’ve given up trying to figure him out.
And really I don’t worry about him anymore. He eats a great breakfast and I know he eats wonderfully at school (the bonus to peer pressure!). Half the time he doesn’t eat at night. He doesn’t get anything else and he certainly doesn’t get a treat, but I don’t push it.I read that kids really only need 2 meals a day – especially if they are calorie rich.
I can sneak good foods in every now and then (do you own the Deliciously Deceptive cookbooks?) and I do cook to his tastes a few times a week. Fruit in salad? Win! Broccoli with a grilled cheese sandwich? Score!
In my experience – don’t give up trying to get her to eat new things (Oh, and reverse psychology TOTALLY works for a short period of time. I bet she can’t eat whatever it is your eating!), but not making a big deal out of it helps too. Giving her choices (no more than 3) also helps. It’s 80% a power play. And if ALL else fails? Gummy vitamins are pretty awesome!!
oh, i feel your pain! I gave up trying (sigh) I usually make most things they like and the few nights that I make something different I make them try it. If they don’t like it, they don’t get dessert or an alternate meal. I just stopped fighting them on it. as michelle says above me, gummy vitamins are awesome! 😉 Oh, and I also love the ideas I’ve gotten from Amy at positiveparentingsolutions.com. I wish she could live with me and help me implement them!
In my (seriously non-expert) mom opinion, if she’s eating a healthy breakfast and lunch, there’s really not much to worry about. I once read that kids need to be presented with a food they “don’t like” around 30 times before they can actually decide whether or not they like it. And that’s around age 5.
My son has “eating days” and “non-eating days.” Some days I can’t get enough food to him, other days he won’t touch even the smallest portion–even with foods he loves! It took me a long time to trust that he will eat when he’s hungry and stop when he’s full, and I shouldn’t mess with his system of intuitive eating. That being said, I don’t let him snack all day so that he’s not hungry for meals. (I doubt that’s what’s happening with your little girl, though)
I know it’s really tough, but if you don’t make a huge deal out of it to your daughter, my guess is that she’s going to grow out of this phase she’s in. You might have to wait a few years, but as long as she’s mostly getting real, whole foods when she does choose to eat, you don’t have anything to worry about.
And I totally agree with Michelle–Gummy vitamins are awesome!
I wish you luck and patience, and I think that you’re a great mom!
We’re probably just super mean (or lazy), but we just never made anything special for the kids once they were old enough to eat normal food. The rule was you had to eat at least a bite of everything, but you didn’t have to eat it all (unless you wanted dessert…if so, you had to eat all your veggies). If they didn’t like what we fixed, they didn’t have to eat more than one bite, but they weren’t going to get anything else either. Kids won’t starve themselves. If they are truly hungry, and presented with (in our opinion) palatable food, they will eventually eat it. They are both pretty good about eating most things now, but it has definitely gotten better as they have gotten older. Cal is better than Mack, but he is almost 10 and Mack is only 7. In fact Call will eat literally anything that you put in front of him. That boy does not like to be hungry.
I also won’t tolerate them saying something is gross, or making gagging noises or anything like that. They can politely tell me that they didn’t really like something, but if I’ve made food for them that I think is okay then they can not be rude about not liking it. You don’t disparage food that someone else has prepared for you. That may result in your dinner being taken away entirely and not replaced.
See, told you we were just mean. I’m not saying any of what we have done will work with E., as maybe our kids are just entirely different than E. in regards to eating and besides you probably aren’t as mean as us. Hang in there…this too shall pass. I think you are doing great and E. is awesome. She looks plenty healthy to me. 🙂