You guys, I realized today that I’ve yet to share my mega-accomplishment that occurred over the holidays. I mean, I know you need to know absolutely everything that happens to me, so I can’t believe I forgot to share this story. Blame it on the eggnog.
As you may recall, E. and I went to Pennsylvania the week before Christmas. It was a whirlwind trip filled with lots of family time, a wee bit of snow …
(no, that’s not dust on my camera lens. It’s snowflakes. I promise) … and snakes. Lots of snakes. Friends, if you’ve read my posts or tweets before, you may have picked up on one bit of trivia about me — I’m terrified of snakes. A nausea and panic-attack inducing, debilitating fear of snakes.
And it’s all because of one place:
And here’s why. My parents divorced when I was 4, so my dad and I would do really random things on his every-other-weekend custody weekends. In the early ’80s (and especially in north-central Pennsylvania where I grew up), there were a lot less kid-centered entertainment options than there are today. So I give him credit for trying to come up with new ideas for us.
One summer weekend, we headed to Clyde Peeling’s Reptiland. I’m not sure how old I was but if I had to guess, I’d say 7 or 8. One of the big draws was the alligator pit. I think (but I’m not 100 percent sure) that you could feed the gators. But one guy ended up doing exactly that. He was a jackass. Even at a young age, I knew that. He was showing off for his friends and dangling his arms over the edge of the wall (remember, this was the early ’80s, in the pre-litigious world we currently live in. In other words — no high safety walls). One minute, this guy is taunting the gator, the next minute it’s lunging up and CHOMPING OFF HIS FLIPPIN HAND. I kid you not. Ask my dad. We saw some dude get his hand (or maybe just fingers, but does it really matter at that point?) eaten by a gator.
I remember hearing lots of screams, seeing the blood and my dad saying, “Let’s get out of here.”
He ushered me to a big tent, just as an animal experience show was about to start. As we sat there on that hot summer day, we could still hear the crowd sounds outside but the show must go on!
We were in one of the first rows of bleachers and I can just remember sitting there staring at a baby gator on a table up front. I don’t know that I was associating it with its bigger brother outside but clearly I was in a bit of a state of shock. Next time I remember, I felt my dad’s hand on my sweaty knees.
I brushed it aside.
A moment later, I felt it again. Once again, I went to brush it away, only this time, I looked down. It wasn’t my dad’s hand. It was a snake head. A giant one. I’m guessing it was a boa. They were passing it around the crowd for people to pet, and someone (cough, cough, my dad, cough, cough) thought it would be funny to put the snake’s head on my knee.
I SCREAMED. And then the crowd laughed. And I started to cry but I can clearly remember trying not to show it because I wanted my dad to think I was tough.
Ah, memories.
Years later, in a college psych class, we were talking about phobias and fears and somehow my professor got that story out of me (I hadn’t really thought about all of the details since that day. My dad’s not much of a talker, although he occasionally brings it up to joke about the gator bait. So I know the facts of it are all true and not just a confused kid’s memory). On the spot, my professor diagnosed my snake phobia as a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder, with everything from the divorce to the gator bite thrown in as contributing factors. Could be.
Or I could just hate snakes.
Whatever caused it, it’s a pretty sick phobia. I’ve throw up before just from seeing them on TV, so it’s no joke. Ever since E. was born, DadJovi has been warning me to not make her inherit my fears. So I’ve been a brave soldier. I’ve gone to Gatorland. I’ve taken her to see the snakes at Animal Kingdom. I even let her pet a snake at the farmer’s market (although I kept my distance).
And what did it get me? A daughter who LOVES snakes. Figures.
So with a few cold days facing us, my dad came up with a genius idea — let’s all go to Reptiland! Great.
E., however, was thrilled. Girlfriend had her face pressed against the glass at every snake cage (or whatever they’re actually called. I know there’s a name).
This green mambo was one aggressive mo-fo. He was all over E every time she went up to the glass. And the sign did confirm that yes, these guys are chasers. Super. Seriously, all I kept thinking the whole time was about the scene in Harry Potter when he makes the glass disappear and Dudley ends up in the cage with the snake.
Then the nausea started and my body was covered in chills, from head to toe (and it is right now just looking at the pictures again). But I soldiered on. The things we do for kids.
Then, things got worse. There was a show. It was deja vu all over again (that Yogi is a genius).
Thankfully, E’s uncle volunteered to take the front row with her while I sat back a bit. Oh yeah, now that she’s a snake lover I let her know Mommy’s secret — I hate them. At this point, I’m hoping to scare her some because the requests for a pet snake have started. I told her it was her choice — she could live with Mommy or a pet snake. So far, I’m polling ahead of the snake … but barely.
Apparently E. had a question. I did too — which way is the exit? After traveling all the way from Florida to Pa., E. got to spend some time with a fellow Cracker:
The baby gator was cute. But that’s not what E. was there to see. At long last, she got her snake time.
By the way, notice my dad is keeping his distance, too. I do think he brought me to Reptiland as a child to try and keep me from picking up on his dislike of snakes, too. And we all know how well that worked out.
Even after E’s allotted time with the boa, she wanted more. She followed the woman around the auditorium. There was only two other families there, so it wasn’t really a big deal. And I wasn’t about to chase her. All I can say is thank God for zoom lenses on cameras.
Ugh. But I did it! I made it through nearly two hours there without vomiting! And, more importantly, E. left Reptiland with nice memories of a fun afternoon with her Pappy.
And these guys? They weren’t hurting anyone that day. They’re sleeping for the winter!
Hooray for hibernation. If only the snakes had been asleep.
What are you afraid of? Is there a reason behind your fear? And do you agree that Ireland must be a magical place since it’s snake free? I need to figure out a way to move there.
Paula @ Eat: Watch: Run says
The gator and snake thing happened in the same day?! I would pretty traumatized too. E is young though. Hopefully she won’t be loving them forever otherwise Snake Charmer might be on her list of future careers.
I’ve always hated roaches. Probably because an apartment that my mom and I lived in had a kitchen that was pretty much infested with them. We were always bug bombing and putting roach motels on the counters. Those motels would be FILLED with roaches at the end of the month. So gross. Then I lived in a few apartments that would have occasional roaches, so I would always have to check the toilet bowl before I sat down. (Don’t laugh, one day there was one on the side and I was glad I was an OCD toilet bowl checker.) And when my mom came to visit and I had to sleep on a mattress on the floor, I would always wake up multiple times during the night and scan the area because I was afraid they’d be crawling on me.
MomJovi says
I hear you on the roaches. Living in Florida, they’re inevitable so I’ve definitely gotten a lot more used to them. But still, whenever I see one scurrying behind my toilet too, I also freak out.
And I always check toilets too because I’m terrified someday there’s going to be a snake in it! I blame it on seeing Porky’s as child, probably not long after the traumatic Reptiland visit. And then every once in awhile you’ll hear a story here in Fla. about a snake in a toilet, and well, I’m freaked for weeks. We once had a frog in our bathroom and the toilet was the only explanation for how he got in there. That made QT with my toilet very difficult for some time!
Ugh, why can’t all animals be as cute as Bunnypants???
Mama Finch says
I’m with you! Hate, hate, hate and did I mention hate, snakes! Even tiny little grass snakes. Not sure why really, just do. You know that scene in Indiana Jones where he is about to fall into a pit of snakes? Let me just say I’ve had nightmares of the very same thing. Blame it on Eve and the serpent I guess…I believe they are the devil on earth! Yuck… Oh and I knew I loved Ireland, but I now love it even more.
By the way, I’ve awarded you a little surprise at http://blendedbeaks.com. Hope you can drop by and take a look. 🙂
MomJovi says
Oh, you’re so sweet! Thanks for the award! I feel the need to make a speech and thank my agent and God. Clearly I’ve watched too many awards shows lately.
But seriously, I really appreciate the love! Just the fact that anyone (well, other than my mom. She’d read anything I wrote) checks in on my teeny corner of the Interwebs is pretty dang cool.
And the Indiana Jone scene? Nightmare. That same professor who diagnosed me told me that the only thing that will truly cure my phobia is something similar — lots of snakes around me. I told him I’d rather live with the fear if that’s the cure. GROSS!
Yes, let’s run away to Ireland. Between the beer and the snake-free living, it just might be the real Garden of Eden!
Heather says
You are braver than I am. I am petrified of snakes too. I got chased by one when I was 6 or 7. It was just a large garter snake, but left me scared. I still hyperventilate when I see even a small snake, and this created some funny moments when we were living in Orlando.
We don’t have kids yet, but I think my husband will be responsible for any snake related activities for our kids. I think my heart-rate went up just reading your post.
MomJovi says
YOU GOT CHASED BY ONE???? Oh my God. I don’t care what kind of snake it was but if any of them ever chased me, I might just die from the shock!
I’ve been very lucky in my 8 years in Orlando that I’ve only seen two snakes at our house — one after my husband ran over with the lawnmower (which my daughter then named Snakey and begged to keep its three pieces) and another black one slithering across our backyard. UGH! We used to have two dogs and I know they kept them scared away. It’s one reason I keep telling my husband we need to get another dog … snake scarer!
Sorry to send your heart racing!
Lindsay @ Fuel My Family says
Snakes scare me becuase I don’t know which ones are poisonous. And they are so strong I am afraid they will wrap around my neck and suffocate me!
MomJovi says
Yeah, I like how people try to tell me things like “Oh, you only need to be scared of the ones with red stripes on top, not yellow” or some other voodoo. Like I’m going to stop long enough to figure out which order the stripes are in! Just get me away. I’m like you — they ALL scare me.
Megan @ The Road to Skinny says
Um, yeah, so I’m afraid of snakes, too, and although I don’t think there’s any rational story behind it, I have to give you props for being able to take your daughter to a reptile place. I can watch snakes on TV, I think they’re fascinating, but they’re SO creepy! I definitely need to work on being a baby around them once my child is born. If I had to go to a reptile place, I would definitely be thinking of that scene from Harry Potter, too! Practice your parseltongue!
MomJovi says
I wish I knew parseltongue just so I could tell the snakes to stay away from me! I LOVE Harry Potter but I have a seriously hard time watching some of them. I’ll never forget when I went to see the Chamber of Secrets … alone. And that huge snake was chasing Harry everywhere. Luckily it looked more like a dragon than a snake but it still freaked me out. Why must it always be snakes (in the words of Indy)??
And I’ll take your props because it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t want to call myself a hero … but you’re welcome to! Ha!
Thanks for the comment and good luck with the baby! See, there are all these things to worry about that you didn’t even know you were going to have to worry about — like not passing on your fears to your kids! But it’s going to be the time of your life!
Courtney Schmidt says
I’m new to your blog, and oh, what a first entry to read! I hate snakes, too. I also hate lizards, even though they are totally harmless. It is definitely true that parents pass on their fears to their kids- I remember my mother screaming at the site of a lizard. So, now I’m feeling a little badly that I might be passing on the fears as well. I don’t see any snake exhibits in our future, but maybe I’ll start with not screaming at the sight of lizards on my doorstep.
MomJovi says
Welcome to the blog! Hopefully your first entry didn’t scare you away! I promise, I try not to terrify people on a daily basis. Well, unless you call raising a preschooler terrifying, which it is some days!
I’ve definitely gotten over my discomfort with lizards. I’ve had to catch way too many wayward lizards who’ve somehow made their way into our house. Of course, that always reminds me that it’s probably super easy for snakes to get in, too. GROSS! Plus, at Repltiland they told us during a supposedly educational, but most just terrifying for me, video that snakes and lizards are essentially the same animals — just one has legs. I suppose that should have made me feel better about snakes. Instead, it made me like lizards a whole lot less!
Thanks for the comment!
Kristina @ Love and Zest says
Woah! Talk about love for your little girl. I think I have PTSD from reading your post! What a crazy story, glad everyone made it out alive..and with their limbs.